since my expulsion from the 6th grade my mind state changed
i rejected the town in which i never played, rather sat and laid/cried and raged.
remember when steve blew his head off with the twelve guage in the 7th grade.
that was the same year the twin towers blew and everyone thought they knew,
but we never had a clue of what life do.
by the time i got into highschool i had a firm rebel attitude.
i only could go to 3 out of 9 periods by the 10th grade,
afterwards i’d leave get a dime and get high.
i remember being 15 went to this dude for weed,
he was telling me of shooting D and Glorifying it OD
another dude had some weed he sold me
didnt let me know it was laced with crack
until i learned after the fact.
now it comes back…
remembering the ringing ears
and falling to the floor high with fear.
and before i ever got into drugs,
psychiatrists had me locked up.
i was imprisioned for who i was
not necesarily what i had done.
it didnt make sense being so young.
the split second seeing the girl strapped with belts to the bed,
the white walls hummed death.
O.H.s wanted to give me an IEP like i was handicapped,
please! otherwise i had to be a loser with a GED
I admit i acted crazy,
sometimes was so wrong felt i never could be right.
seems like alot of the people in my life wouldnt think twice
of why i was the way i was in my life.
although i’ve strived
and made great strides,
i found my beauty letting it shine
my heart aches and i do cry,
i do pray and i do get high.
I am beautiful and
i need not lie about who am i.